How I Incorporated My Dad in Heaven Into Our Wedding Day
My dad passed away two years before our wedding and realizing that I would be getting married without him physically there was a hard pill to swallow. If you are getting married without your dad, there are a lot of tough thoughts you have during wedding planning. So many father-daughter moments are part of a traditional wedding and pop up throughout the day. Acknowledge them and find comfort in knowing that he will be watching from Heaven. We didn’t think twice about putting our own spin on some of those traditions - my mom walked me down the aisle and rocked her welcome speech!
I was worried I would be too sad not having him there to fully appreciate the day, but luckily, having so many reminders of him made me feel his presence the entire wedding weekend. He is such a light in my life and I love finding ways to make sure he is by my side when life continues to go on without him. I decided to find as many ways to keep his spirit very alive throughout our wedding:
In Loving Memory Signature Cocktail
One of my dad’s nightly rituals was a Manhattan with Jeopardy before dinner. We could not eat dinner at home or even order dinner at a restaurant until that Manhattan was poured. I will never have a Manhattan and not think of him, so of course we had to include the “Larry’s Mark Manhattan” on our signature cocktail offerings.
Photo by Kristina Adams Photography
Sean Wears His Wedding Ring
I wore his wedding ring for almost a year after he died, and once Sean and I got engaged, we had him try it on for fun. It fit PERFECTLY and we both just knew that that would be the ring he would wear. I love catching glimpses of my dad when I see Sean with it on.
He Led Us in Grace Before Dinner Was Served
You are probably thinking I am crazy, but, no, he really did! I recorded him saying grace at our family Christmas dinner knowing it would likely be the last one with him. I sent the video to our DJ so he could extract the audio and play it for everyone before dinner service. We didn’t announce it, but those who knew his voice knew who was praying over us in that moment.
Photo by Kristina Adams Photography
Cigar Bar
Almost every night before going to bed, my dad would smoke a cigar in our backyard. He had this jacket he would wear to absorb the smell, but if you know the cigar smell, you cannot really escape it. I can’t say it is my favorite smell in the world, but it does remind me of my favorite person, so I love it. We had a cigar station setup with a few photos of him with his cigars. The matchboxes said “Ti Amo” because my Irish dad was obsessed with Italian culture and spent most of my life trying to learn Italian. He wrote Ti Amo in every card to my mom and I even have a tattoo that says Ti Amo in his hand writing on my foot.
Photo by Kristina Adams Photography
Brother-Sister Dance
My dad left me with three brothers who are all so much like him. Sometimes, it is uncanny when I see one of their expressions or reactions. I asked each of them (and their daughters if it was okay) to dance with me for a Brother-Sister dance since there would be no Father-Daughter dance. It was such a special dance and my eyes are glossy right now just thinking about that moment.
We also included a little “In Memory Of” in our ceremony program for him, Sean’s uncle and both sets of our grandparents. If you are planning a wedding without a parent, I know it is hard to navigate, but I promise you will feel their love all day! It is so bittersweet, but I hope you can add some ways to honor them to make it more sweet!
